As we start a New Year, I recommend that you don’t give yourself unrealistic goals and resolutions – I think that it’s far more important to get to know yourself better.

You may find it surprising, but many people that I speak to, even reaching retirement age, don’t feel as though they know themselves…
When we contemplate why this is, often it’s because studying, careers, raising a family etc has taken our focus away from our original selves; think of it like layers of dust building up on furniture.

So what can we do to re-discover our authentic selves?

(You will need a note book – and you can buy a really lovely one in the sales!)

1: Find some “Me” time. However busy your lifestyle is, finding some quality time for you is essential. Identify one hour during your day or evening when you can enjoy a hobby, or simply have some thinking or unwinding time, without being interrupted.

2: Now build on this new routine, make sure you commit to “number one” every day for a week, and build it to two, and so on, until you’ve achieved quality time for yourself for the whole of January.

3: By about day three, you will already feel less stressed – it’s like restarting your computer. Even if you already have plenty of time to yourself, creating this new routine will add structure to your day. Now get your notebook and jot down five things you enjoy doing, including any lapsed hobbies from your younger years.

4: Ask of those hobbies: 1) Can you take any up again, even a version of them? Could any of these involve friends, or could they be a way to make new friends? (Remember – people embarking on a new course are often attending alone). Could any of your old passions provide an organic way to make another revenue stream? Do you know anyone you could do this with? (Write down any ideas on the corresponding page. A clearer mind tends to be more creative).

5: Think of things you’d like to do but simply have not got around to doing. Mine is: I’d like to be a psychologist. I only have a handful of qualifications but I’m going to look into the possibilities/alternatives.

6: Recall times when you felt as though you were full of popping candy: all that excitement and energy! Perhaps you either achieved a much desired goal, spoke up for the first time in class, got an amazing job, or got the recognition you deserved etc. Go back to the event, picture where you were/who was with you/when in the year it occurred. Visualise the detail – as much as you can. Keep these memories fresh and recall them whenever you need reminding of your authentic self/if you need a boost of energy.

7: Practice being more decisive. Work on the least important decisions first. Note down every time you’ve been decisive with a tally system in your notebook.

8: Practice saying “no”. Always do what’s best for you and your mental wellbeing.

9: Compare yourself to nobody. It’s entirely fruitless and depletes energy.

10: Go for more walks – even if you can only do so at the weekends!