In my experience, those of us who endure anxiety are especially hard on ourselves – often carrying distorted opinions about our capabilities.
I have witnessed this many times, and recall seeing a cake chef almost melting under a wave of anxiety when they’d actually finished the commission in plenty of time! On that occasion, a sweet cup of tea and much needed praise helped to lift them away from the quicksand of anxiety. I pointed out to my friend that not only had they created a beautiful design, but that I knew that their customer would be in taste bud heaven when they bit into the chocolatey delight.
I had to help guide their thinking into a conscious state, a mindful one, instead of thinking subconsciously, where we tend to function on autopilot.

Often anxiety is fuelled around a task we’re about to do in the future. Our minds play havoc with the facts and we can be ruthless, unrealistic or simply unkind about ourselves. Whilst we can be a great support to our friends, those of us with anxiety can’t easily apply the same rationale when it comes to ourselves.
So it frequently takes a third party to point out how well we are actually doing, or to talk consciously about a task we are about to embark on which is causing stress.

When we talk openly about our feelings, it’s amazing how much it can drastically curb our anxiety. If you suffer with bad anxiety, then you’ll know how much of a relief it is when someone helps you with the smaller woes.
For example, I have to drive down a dangerous, single dirt-track road every day and for too many weeks I let the anxiety burn away at my stomach. I thought: “how will I reverse onto a dangerous main road if I meet another car? What will I do if I’m driving up the road and another car is driving down?” I played, and repeated, all sorts of unnecessary scenarios in my head, until I mentioned it to my daughter.
She was able to point out a space in the road that I could squeeze into to pass the oncoming car instead of reversing, but reminded me that I do have a reversing camera on my dashboard if needed! She made me think consciously as opposed to being trapped in the numbness of subconscious thinking…
Perhaps the most interesting aspect of this story is that I mentioned my former worries to others who drive down that road, and three of them had exactly the same angsts! By being mindful in this case, it helped lots of people, not just me! And by talking about my anxieties I was answered with a practical solution – my anxieties about driving down that road have melted away now.