It’s not relevant to detail what pains my heart.

Our pain and sadness is unique to each one of us… And because we have a personal viewpoint, it can be challenging finding or talking to people about our experiences. It can cause us frustration even by imagining how a friend might react. How can someone possibly know what to say to make you feel better when you’re at your lowest?

It’s often very difficult to listen to, or follow, advice – but what’s important is to try and pluck up the courage to share your feelings. It often doesn’t matter what advice the listening ear has for you – the first step is to speak to someone you trust. It can feel like a huge weight has been lifted, just by talking about how you feel. Remember that when you are feeling more content, you can think of far more people who really care about you. Far more than when you are in the darkness of pain and sadness!

But…whilst you are isolated with pain, alone in your thoughts… do you ever wonder why you draw comfort when you reminisce over something that hurt you? Do you fear that your mental health is worse for doing it?
There are certain songs which I find extremely painful to listen to, yet I find an urge to play them. Actually, it’s only been in recent years that I’ve realised what happens to my thoughts as I’m listening to certain tunes. In a strange way, there is comfort in pain. It’s recalling difficult memories that had nice aspects hidden in them. The songs can be so painful to listen to, yet the memories which they evoke can be extremely comforting. Memories that might have even been re-written in my mind with alternative endings.

Sometimes it’s beneficial to allow yourself to feel how your body is making you feel. I know myself that if a song comes on which reminds me of someone I’ve lost, I try and listen to it and think of happy memories with them, rather than turning off the song and suppressing how I really feel.

So when you next feel like re-visiting pain, try to bravely look at it differently. Try to recall the small things that helped you to keep going and see whether any of them can bring you comfort today.