Today my neck is hurting, it’s the nuisance of arthritis in the side of my body effected by cerebral palsy… and yet the pain is helpful.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want, nor welcome additional physical pain, but factually, and like everyone, especially as we get older, we can hurt ourselves – often without knowing how we’ve done it.

The only difference with someone with cerebral palsy, is that because we have less control of our bodily movement; we can contort and twist against our will, which often renders more points of pain.

Or, in other words, I’m used to the pitfalls of the disability. Yet this new pain peak is helpful.

It is a reminder to be one step ahead of our pains, be they physical or emotional. Because pain forms part of the plethora of normal human experiences. It is like the weather; in that we must respond to it accordingly. If we notice grey clouds, as we’re getting dressed in the morning – then we’ll take a water proof jacket, chuck one in the car – just in case.

Equally, we can prepare ourselves for new physical pain. If we’d had surgery, for instance, then we would adapt our home for our return- a bed downstairs, easy bedding, and so on.

Whilst I write this, I’ve been stretching and massaging my neck and scalp, and added nutritional flax seed oil to my drink. If I can’t make it subside later, then I’ll reluctantly take a painkiller.

But, since medication was too liberally used by my abusive mother, it’s not my first port of call.

I start by acknowledging my pain, as opposed to ignoring it. I want to do something about it, to lessen it.  And then, I deliberately approach my pain more holistically – initially: breathing work / mediation / stretching. I layer up my resources, and if necessary, then I will take medication.

We can build layers of help for emotional pain too: sit with it / go for a walk / talk to a friend etc.

It’s helpful to recall, how in a nurturing childhood, your parent came to the rescue – when you fell and hurt your knee. Because as a child, your emotional pain when doing so, was as distracting as the physical pain. It may have been a cuddle, kiss, rub and plaster. Or, your caregiver, who could see there was no physical injury, but you were crying out of fear and shock; simply rubbed your leg better, picked you up, and distracted you, with a tickle.  They used a multifaceted approach to ease your pains.

Reflecting on this scenario is useful, because we can imagine being the caring adult, we can apply the actions they took with us then and use them in real time today.

Whilst my mother didn’t respond in this traditional way with me, I still observed in other families, a tiered approach to dealing with pain. It’s helpful to be consciously aware of the facets of any pains so that we can gather the resources to help us lessen them.

I hope you find this helpful.

With SUNNY wishes,

Emma x