Acclimatizing to my newly – found emotional freedom, is akin to observing wild horses bound freely in a forest. It is a fantastic feeling: being alert and charged, and my energy is in abundance.

I want to meet and greet every single filly and pony, coax them with a juicy apple or carrot, show them my gratitude; stroke their velvety nose, and stare at their sheer majestic magnificence.

But boy, are there many…the stallion: representative of my toddler strength, before it got torn by trauma. The nervous, yet graceful pony: the “I’m cool” front, which I masqueraded with for much of my life. And the foal of me, today, as I get used to the glorious new clearing in my head. A childhood interrupted, with the harrowing events- seeping into my entire adulthood, until I stopped my perpetrator.

The surge of formerly restricted energy, is liken to releasing an animal back into their natural environment. It is a charge and gush of unpredicted strength: free-flowing like an unblocked dam.

It can however, be quite over-whelming; now that I am no longer a prisoner of my own mind.

Even if I were able-bodied, and could effortlessly saddle and mount one of my horses; the last thing I’d would want is to restrict it. I simply wish to gently learn how to shepherd my new vitality, and direct it, constructively in my ongoing healing journey.

The horses have been groomed; they are peaceful, now that their nervous coats of energy have shed and regrown. But they still wish to race – whilst they adapt and settle into the pasture of their new field.

As I get used to all the new clearings in my mind, and begin to harness and repurpose my strength, I remain mindful about the two keys that unlocked me: conscious awareness, and the ability to therefore live in real time. Gone are the days of white-space ruminations, and indeed, realising that I spent most of my life in autopilot mode.

Each horse represents an emotion, so many were shabby and unkempt, lame, or unknown.

I familiarize self with my equine qualities, and continue to learn how to siphon off their energy for more wholesome pursuits. I draw and paint. I write, walk, and bake, and I do these things in daily in harmonious quietude…

The horses still charge towards me, but I have grown accord with them. I can see them now, align with them, and look into their calm eyes: I am well on the way to reconciling with them.

When we improve our mental wellbeing, our energies will shift, swell, and change shape within us. It can feel daunting to walk on new grass. But it is exciting, fresh, and vibrant. You deserve to focus on the positivity instead. Repurpose the old energy of woe, into pursuing something creative, or invigorating instead. All forms of exercise will help you sustain feelings of contentment and clarity.

It helped me to figure: that fluidity of thought, is merely the opposite of oppression.

Be free, like the untethered horse once more, and do not forget to take graze or gratitude breaks. And, if a surge of anxiety swells up within you, and the unhelpful bout of yesterday’s raving energy: – remind yourself that the sun above, and the nature around you, mean to offer you solace and peace.

I hope you find this helpful.

With SUNNY wishes, Emma x