When we are young, even as we age; there are language styles of people we like or admire, which instantly feel comforting or supportive.
We enjoy borrowing endearing terms, often subconsciously including them in our own every day chatter. If, for example our grandparents called us: dear/ sweet / lovie / princess – then we will transfer such soul kisses onto our younger friends, relatives- even our friends.
These words for our reciprocate, translate to reinforce feelings of interest, or love – when we are talking. Additionally, they gently help to engage a person; especially if they are under our care, or supervision. They are like invisible bannisters and evoke security. They are a natural way to gently manage, gain cooperation, and they are instantly effective. We can utilize them in our own self-talk.
Whether we are able-bodied, or not: we live in a busy era; and seem to have ever-increasing things to do and juggle. It is all-too-easy to feel overwhelmed, and stretched as though we are cartoon characters – made of rubber! So, we can all benefit from helpful self-talk; especially if it has a coaching or calming effect on us.
A great late friend of mine, Tony, for whom I used to work for, had a wonderful turn of phrase. If I asked him for advice, he would pause before answering; responding as though he was about to do the task himself. He would simply prefix, pretty much any answer or statement with, “Well, what I’d do …”
His simple deliverance had many supportive, and nourishing elements to it.
- He removed any status from his language, meaning that I felt equal to him.
- It made me engaged, interested and motivated
- He demonstrated a genuine kind nature
- I felt supported, heard, and valued
You will guess that I frequently borrow his words in managing both my every day agenda, and indeed when I am managing my awkward body. Moreover, I make a conscious effort to fold-in his invisible hand as though I am physically being guided. It helps to navigate my day, and his warmth and kindness are everlasting, extremely constructive, and helpful.
Think about whose words you too can borrow, and devise your own helpful self-talk technique; or feel free to share Tony’s!
I hope you find this helpful.
SUNNY wishes,
Emma x