Humans can hurt us, through cruelty, lies, betrayal deceit or jealousy. These ugly traits we must remember are part of life and they are usually expressed because the perpetrator is insecure, or not truly happy, or honest with themselves.

Nonetheless, if we do not rise above feelings of anger, especially where we have chosen to remain silent, holding onto such a negative emotion, only hinders number one. This is especially cumbersome for those of us who are far more advanced on our personal developmental journey – than the people who caused us such feelings, in the first instance. Anger is trying to hold onto a burning coal – it only hurts the innocent person.

Ultimately, it is not our fault that we feel this normal human emotion. It is purely a symptomatic reaction – caused by another human.

Therefore, I offer, although it is my sister’s idea- a wonderfully easy and highly effective solution to rid of the debilitating emotion that anger is: simply put it in a box and throw it away.

To do this, imagine you are putting your angry and hurt feelings into a box. You must picture the box in maximum detail. Find fifteen minutes alone and sit or lay somewhere comfortably, close your eyes. Next do some box breathing: – a set of twelve- take a deep breath in through your nose, hold for the count of four then exhale through pursed lips.  Now envisage the box, when I did this, I firstly examined an old shoe box – so that midst doing, I had it in my immediate memory recall. It was white with blue and red stripes, and it was leather scented.  Next fold away your angry emotions, picture them as pieces of paper, perhaps you will fold them away in imaginary envelopes. Now pretend to lick the envelopes closed, line them all up neatly in your box. Doing so evokes a sense of putting yourself back in charge of your burnt feelings: systematically and orderly.

Now, picture yourself taping the box closed, you will never need to reopen it.  Finally, take the box to somewhere you will never go – in reality. For me the choice was obvious, I pretended to throw it off the cliffs, and let the deep sea consume it.

When in your mind’s eye, you have walked back to the shore, you are likely to feel refreshed. If you do not, then it is that your concentration has been broken, or your mind has wandered. No problem, simply practice it until you feel the relief in your gut. It does not matter whether you achieve this in the first or subsequent attempts. All you are essentially doing is regaining the control of your thoughts, and not allowing the debris of other people to hinder your personal developmental journey.

Debbie has consistently been with, and supportive to me since childhood. (Even though I have not always been there for her!) She has never beguiled, stifled nor judged me, and has been on every one of my dark and painful life events. (Losing a child, the loss of my father and brother – to name a few).  Equally, she has rejoiced at all the many happy times we have enjoyed too. I would like to thank her for this greatly helpful technique, and for her abundant and rich true sisterhood, sincerity, and love.  I am eternally grateful for all that she is. Rare are such wonderful human attributes.

 

I hope you find this helpful.

 

With SUNNY wishes, Emma x