When we do something on purpose, we can observe some interesting and helpful human characteristics at work. We are applying, aptitude, commitment, desire, and focus, and our only intention is to get the task done.

We are highly productive because we’re acting purposefully, or in conscious thinking mode, as opposed to the foggy mind, that is our subconscious; where a hefty ninety-five percent of our thinking occurs.

The more consciously aware we grow, the more content and happier we become; as more of our magnificent human brain lights up to our improved sense of wellness.

As I continue my healing journey, as a disabled maternal abuse survivor; I liken my healing head to a set of festive tree lights. Through a mix eating wholesome foods, exercising, within the restraints of cerebral palsy, and following my passions; more lights work on my tree head now, and it’s a fantastic feeling.

Yet, I am equally aware that many trauma survivors, tend to function in either mute mode, usually for safety reasons, or can spend far too many years, in the depilating auto-pilot functionality of a subconscious existence. And I am passionate about sharing my own made techniques, because we don’t deserve to endure the sense of poor self-esteem; especially because it’s been inflicted on us, and it was never part of our original personality.

I know how hard it can be never having the love or support from a mother; our heads can feel like a spaghetti junction. You might wonder where on earth to start – which is why you can start on the small things, leading to bigger ones and do every one on purpose.

Imagine you have hauled your Christmas lights down from the attic, many of the bulbs may not be working, some will need to be replaced, while others simply need a tweak. You have a purposeful desire to fix them.

I’m going to assume that you are not at the part of your healing journey yet, whereby you have the eating healthily, or exercising T-shirt as regular resources – and where I was four years ago, when all I felt about self, was unhelpfully negative. Here are examples of the early stages of it occurring to me to indeed act more purposefully:

1: what are you going to wear tomorrow

This isn’t trite, and it doesn’t matter, that like me, you may not have to be suited and booted. This is purely about purposely thinking about your attire for the next day. It’s a step towards selflove. Might you pick a jumper that you feel nice in. Or, as I do, I wear leggings, or sporty things, so that I’m purposely ready to slot in a bit of exercise or stretching.

2: what are you going to have for your dinner tomorrow

This too is about purposely thinking, as opposed to deciding last minute, eating food that dampens your mood, and meal-planning saves on the purse strings too. Even if funds are tight, a simple inexpensive baked potato is incredibly nutritious. I enjoy one several times a week.

3: when might you search your phone to learn about breathing exercises

Though we may not realise, those of us who have endured tough beginnings are susceptible to poor breathing, or we suffer with digestive or reflux issues. These are bodily symptoms of trauma, and have no right to hinder our desire to get better. There are even specialist schools which teach breathing work. But I’ll save you the job and can tell you how supportive breathing is for our wellbeing. Box Breathing is relied on in the military: – simply sit facing something square, a computer television/screen. Then draw a deep breathe in from your nose, hold to the count of four or eight, then slowly release each breathe through pursed lips for the same count. To keep focused cast your eyes along each line of the device and try to start with one set of four, aiming to build up to three sets.

I purposefully do breathe work throughout the day, because it literally reframes our thinking and induces a sense of calm.

Like mending Christmas tree lights, one purposeful act at a time, is  another light working and creates the beginning of a glorious chain of a fully functioning set of them, all twinkly and vibrant.

Once you awaken to doing more things in your life purposefully, you start feeling better about yourself, and it becomes moreish. By awakening to fundamental things first, such as what you are going to wear tomorrow, will lead to inclinations about all the other areas of self-development that you wish to work on.

I hope you find this helpful.

SUNNY wishes,

Emma xx