Admiring self in mirror: Doesn’t sit well with most of us…

I would not be telling you the truth if I said I liked it… at first. But now I do because I can see the whole of me: natural and real.

Three years on, since the annoying disability became more challenging; and choosing between surgery or slimming- to keep walking… I look at a slimmer healthier me, who at fifty-five: wears a summer uniform of: hot pants, vest and sun kisses.

It took until then to look past the ugliness:

The thinner leg, and curly arm, the rollie shoulder, and claw hand… And the ugly large scar that runs across my middle. This caused by mother’s neglect…

But, thanks to ongoing focus: loads of the above are improving. I eat well and exercise within the hindering restraints of the cerebral palsy… note the language I use: I detach self from it – in other words, I don’t let the disability define me. Every day I thank the universe because many people with cerebral palsy can’t walk. I am blessed!

I have a wonderful daughter, son -in-law and new granddaughter – makes me feel as though I have won the people lottery.

I finally disowned my mother eighteen months ago, and it’s fantastic to at last: feel awake.

All these factors make far more relaxed muscles, and a happier lighter feeling in the soul and physical movement. Every petal of positive self-improvement: becomes moreish, and so I keep doing more… and in shows in my reflection.

Every day, I stand in front of the full-length mirror: just pants and a smile, and I say HAH to the imperfections, and I grin to self: at nice little tan…and then I look up to the photo of my wonderful late daddy: grinning mischievously, – with his shiny gold giant hoop earring and matching golden teeth.

And as for the old trauma, well of course mother’s screeds still play on. But, with all the ongoing ways I’m trying to improve: her voice in my head is far lower these days.

You may ask: why the odd ritual with my beloved late daddy? Well, we shared much, he was a foundling deaf baby, abandoned outside an East End pub. He was also abused by his mother; yet became incredibly successful. He gave me nothing but tough love and laughter. He hated people who lied. He loved me deeply and bestowed much of his lucky cockney wisdom on me…

I only learned, after he died suddenly, that he’d wanted to discuss stuff about mother.

When I later lost my beloved brother, it was our wish to have written about our childhood: Introspectively, in the hope it would help others.

So, now that it’s a draft, I’m trying to lure a literally agent… and this is why admiring self in mirror rules okay. Being truthful about the whole of you: mind, body, spirit- makes you wake up and become more consciously aware of: – who and what you are, and what you want in life.

See past all your imperfections and be brave enough to try looking at yourself in the mirror today. Then find a picture of someone you love and pop happy kisses on them: because they will spur you on all day: share laughter with them – as you go about your day…

In life we tend to steer away from our problems and issues. When we learn to face them head on, we can constructively and honestly deal with them: one gentle step at a time… whilst we have all lost, always remember that none of our loved ones would want us to be sad. It was my daddy’s wish that all his kids would be happy.

I hope you find this helpful.

SUNNY wishes,

Emma x