Similarly to a sun-deprived plant, we humans must adapt and bend: if we’ve never known the light of maternal nurturing. We must create our own sunshine.

As consummate actors, despite our gnarled branches, it’s often the case that we become great achievers,’ as doting parents, or in our careers and passions.

We have an extra layer of determination, a useful veneer of resilience, and usually, a heightened sense of compassion. We know the detriments of emotional pain, and like to cushion other people.

But self-love is an area which frequently evades us. We’re simply not used to maternal love, and so we forgot to shine warmth on number one. In our lowest moods, we can be very unkind to ourselves. We can revert to the historic echoes of other people’s narrative; that threaten to over-shadow our personal development, and healing journey.

And we don’t deserve any more weeds in our soil: we’ve worked hard on ourselves. We need to be consciously aware of the need to plough in plenty of nutritious self-love.

I continue to utilize many own-made techniques, and happily admit to applying them daily. They form the essential personal fuel to grow and improve my mental wellness.

Our psyche needs regular attention, especially if it was damaged in our informative years. I liken the management of mine to getting dressed: we wouldn’t leave the house with only one shoe on…

The phrase “Come on darling” is an endearing term that a mother might use: to chivvy -up their child. It also makes light of a situation, and I would use it on my daughter: to steer her cooperation, if for example, I needed to hurry her up and get ready for school.

Or, I might have used it to encourage her with her homework: “Come on darling, you know that’s the right answer;” and this of course nurtured confidence, during her informative years…

And, so I decided to use the phrase on myself: I’m being my own mummy.

I use it for reassurance, motivation and to help steer me- as a mother might do.

Each morning, and frequently throughout the day, depending on my mood, I start by brushing my teeth whilst smiling at self in the mirror:

“Come on darling, I know you feel anxious; but how about getting yourself some breakfast because you know how important it is to eat.”

I use it to help encourage self, when exercising my awkward body:

“Come on darling, I know it’s painful, but just a few more stretches, then I’ll make you a banana smoothie.”

I hone into my acting skills, the ones I crafted way back in childhood, to help keep me safe; and I ensure that I fully immerse myself in the role. By this, I mean, I say “Come on darling” with all the sincere compassion usually present in a mother.  Doing so, sometimes, with the addition of gently stroking my own cheek, ensures that I’m listening; moreover, that I will adhere and follow my own-made maternal advice.

Perhaps you may like to try this easy-to-do technique on yourselves.

I hope you find this helpful.

SUNNY wishes,

Emma x