My late brother likened stress to a layer cake: neither in quantity, is good for our health.
But, what can we do to alleviate the layers of stress that so many of us endure?
We can think about the layer cake, and deconstruct it; to examine the varying ingredients in each layer. We can start to see the components of our individual layers; additionally, note common stress factors: those that many of us have.
I find that a helpful exercise is to symbolise your cake as a simple box, and start listing the things that are causing you stress. Mine might look something like:
| Over-thinking |
| Daily challenges |
| Work insecurities |
| Family disputes |
| Financial worries |
| Health issues |
By writing down our stress factors: we’re giving them daylight; we’re calling them out and identifying each one. We’re facing up to them, and it’s empowering. We can start to consider how we can help manage our stress, and melt some of the lesser worries away.
Over-thinking: Much of the time our emotions try to rule over our wonderful human intellect. Our mind can be our true enemy – if we don’t control it. Remember your own sensibility is the referee of your head. You are the shepherd of your own wandering sheep. Additionally, over-thinking is often linked to future anxieties, e.g.: “How will I get there in time with the train strikes?”. The key here is to plan ahead and get organised, because doing so is an anxiety-melter. Plus, by giving yourself time to plan, you will find alternative solutions: share a car lift / check the schedule / go the night before and stay with a friend, share the cost of an air B&B.
You could also jot down what you are over-thinking about. You’ll end up with a collection of random words and sentences. Instantly you will see which ones relate to anxiety; equally you will see those, that once in ink or pencil seem habitual or actionable: “I keep thinking about all those poor children without food or shelter”. Okay, so you don’t have the financial resources to give aid, but you could donate unwanted clothing to the local charity shops. Perhaps you could volunteer some spare time at the shop, foodbank or soup kitchen. You could knit or crochet baby hats and blankets, and donate those to the organisations close to your heart.
Daily challenges: Often these orientate around time deficiency; an opportunity to delegate and share some of the mundane daily chores. My other brother recommends setting time aside weekly with those you live with: A chance for you all to sit round the table and air your challenges. Problem-solving, as a collective makes: harmony, help, and solutions. It also encourages people to open -up and feel validated.
Work insecurities: Close to my heart, since I lost most of my work during covid and when my disability became more challenging. But there are many online courses available to help you retrain, and widen your skills sets. If you’re a good listener, then you may wish to look into becoming a counsellor. Additionally, I heard from good authority, that many jobs are not advertised in the traditional platforms. This means that you could write a wish list of the organisations you like and try to approach them directly. It is also highly worth getting your C.V. written or checked professionally, this is because, and especially for careers in the local authorities, that they are often initially read robotically.
Family disputes: Try to resolve them with compassion, honesty and kindness. Above all, remembering that you can only control your actions and thoughts is helpful in alleviating stress.
Financial worries: Close to many of our hearts. If you have creditors chasing you, be honest about your situation because they do wish to help support you. Make a list of to whom you may owe money and reward yourself for proactively dealing them. Remember they can’t see you blush over the phone. Invest in a few hours dealing with it, perhaps get a friend to sit with you for morale support. Because the more in control you feel, the less your stress levels will be.
Health issues: Close to my heart, the cerebral palsy more challenging now and threatening my mobility. To try to avoid surgery, I am motivated to keep slim, eat wholefoods, and exercise within the constraints of my disability. There really are no shortcuts in keeping healthy: lifestyle changes are key. Start small, be consistent. Try climbing a set of stairs- as free exercise: start with five sets and build upwards. Or walk around your local community, you could even start a walking club. Exercise in itself is a stress-buster.
I hope you find this helpful.
With SUNNY wishes,
Emma x