Some people are naturally competitive, and the hard work they undertake in order to achieve their goal is highly commendable. But when we get distracted by other people’s accomplishments; we lose sight of our own aspirations. We might feel insignificant or down-beat, and we’re at risk of self-sabotage: when we try to compete with others.

My advice is to only compete with number one, and to pick one singular task per time that you’d like to improve on. Many of your choices could be in self-development, which may include health and fitness, or a hobby that you’d like to master, or to improve aspects of your lifestyle.

Such things are only in your control, even when perhaps, you have to find and make the time to pursue them, or fit them into your hectic day.

So, for instance, you may have been a keen cycler when you were younger, and deem this as a pleasurable way in which to improve your level of fitness. You may have thought about heaving the bike out of a garage: change the saddle, or buy new wheels; your metal friend has been calling so loudly lately, that you’ve finally found the time to hoke it out of the shed, and oil it up.

Imagine, you’re safely helmeted up, and you have a couple of hours of you time. You’ve automatically tried to pick up the sport from where you left off, perhaps it was years ago, when you were younger and fitter. Yet, you’ve over-looked that you need to rebuild your stamina first: to expect a ten-mile run from years of inactivity could be unhelpful to your health.

It’s therefore far better to aim for an initial two-mile cycle, by doing so will whet your appetite, moreover you’ll feel accomplished: something to build on, and not too time consuming either.

The key is to tell as few people as possible, because they may wish to deter or judge you. They may be unhelpfully envious. As long as you are ensuring your safety, then it’s always best, when you’re embarking on anything new, or a revised interest, to keep your progress to number one.

Of course, you’ll need motivation and it’s good to self-reward too, in order to track and maintain your progress, but until your seeds of success are budding, and preferably rooting in firm soil, then it’s best to keep your achievements to yourself. This is for two reasons, firstly it takes time for a new habit to establish and be part of a regular new routine. Secondly, being only human, and factoring-in the distractions of life, you might have set backs. The last thing you need is unhelpful narrative:

“I thought you said you were going out on your bike every Sunday afternoon”.

People often think that they’re helping by reminding, or nagging you. But they’re not since what they say is usually reflective of how they judge themselves. Simply hearing such words is akin to wheeling over a sharp tac.

If you have responsibilities whereby you need to state your movements, then simply play down what you’re doing. Example: “I’m just going down the road with this old thing, see you in about half an hour”.

Say so because it’s true, and also, you’re not setting expectations for others to judge you on. The reality is that a two-mile cycle will be achievable in this amount of time, or a single mile if you’re feeling rusty.

You can also find the relatively short time-slot to fit this in perhaps when nobody else is at home. Once you’ve completed your inaugural journey: you’ll feel wonderfully happy with number one, and it’s amazing how we can learn to be more time-efficient, once we take the hardest first steps in actually actioning our notions.

Whatever it is that you may wish to do, doesn’t have to be broadcast or shared whilst you are in the early stages of implementation. Because your achievement will initially only positively affect you.

When you feel that it’s become habitual then you may wish to include others, or share your experience, since it might be helpful. But there is little point in trying to compete with people, because your improvements are after all for number one.

I hope you find this helpful.

SUNNY wishes,

Emma