For many of us, when we place the emphasis on our own needs, as opposed to those of others, it can feel indulgent or luxurious. You may even feel a bit selfish in doing so. It can feel clunky in the same way as learning to drive.

But, actually, you have experienced enlightenment! Something in your subconscious mind has been tickling the back of your thoughts, and one day, you wish to feel better about yourself. You have become mindful of your own needs!

There could be a host of reasons why you might have endured feelings of poor self-image. Or low self-esteem.  You might have spent years taking care of children, or elderly relatives, and have not worn fancy clothes in ages. Equally. there may be habits in your lifestyle you would like to change. Or you may want to feel happier, to enjoy a more fulfilled life. To learn a new hobby, etc.

It might feel as though you have a mountain to climb. Or that you have been given an allotted ten minutes only, to sweep through a supermarket, with permission to grab whatever you wish on the house!

When you contemplate the changes you’d like to make, just for yourselves, it can feel daunting, especially if you try to fix everything in record time.

So, it’s important when you have an awakening, to treat yourselves kindly, as you did your children or dependents. Or anyone else that you’ve put above your own needs. You were, and likely still are, kind and patient with those people. Less so yourselves.

When you experience a new mind shift, you need to practice and get used to it, in the same way as you might with new footwear. Taking manageable baby steps is important because they’re more attainable and habit-forming.

I’d recommend you jot down the things you’d like to feel better about with yourself: such as improving confidence, or willpower. They will, of course, be unique to you.

Next, imagine that you are standing below a laden apple tree, and each of your desires is the plentiful fruit above your head. There will be the low-hanging, easy-to-grab ones. They will be the easiest ones to start filling your basket with first.

So if one of those apples, for instance, represents confidence and there was a time when you had heaps of it, cast your mind back to when you had effortless quantities of it.

You might feel out of touch or rusty, and yet you’ve previously imparted this helpful attribute to those you’ve cared for.

Ask yourself what is blocking your confidence now, and if it’s merely the way you look, then as I believe, you know that this can be worked on. My body is changing shape, so I take regular exercise, even though it’s more challenging to walk, to try and combat it. Or, you might fret about talking face-to-face to new people, perhaps in an interview scenario. So practice talking to people who work in the shops, and enjoy exchanging pleasantries.

The key to feeling better about ourselves is by making small manageable steps of progress. One day at a time.

I hope this is helpful.

SUNNY wishes,

Emma x