In the same way that a yacht sails smoothly on still waters; when our mind is calm we think more clearly. It is the ultimate state of wellness that we should aspire to since calmness bolsters both our physical and mental well-being. It also gives us higher control over our emotions. It makes us stronger, both in mind and physically.

But, how do we learn to find calm, when it is not innately within us?

We have to make a concerted effort to observe and emulate feelings of calmness, -: in the people we know who are naturally good at keeping calm.

It is an attribute that some people, like my daughter, have in abundance.

Yet, to a degree, it can be copied if you know what traits to look out for. It can be studied in much the same way as if you were watching the antics of your favourite sports personality, or an artist whom you admire.

So, what are some of these nuggets of wisdom? How do naturally calm people interact, and what do they do differently?

Here are some of my observations:

• Calm people are brilliant listeners. They seldom interrupt or interject in a conversation.
• They take more time to answer a question because they are thinking carefully before they speak.
• When they do respond, then the advice they offer is entirely tailored to the person they are communicating with. They are seldom generalists.
• They give the person with whom they’re talking their undivided attention, even in a crowded space.
• They make you feel at ease in their company because they hold good eye contact.
• They are highly considerate of other peoples’ feelings and tend to be very intuitive.
• They are incredibly well organised, and plan ahead.
• They are good at pre-empting a situation.
• They are excellent timekeepers.
• They actively seek solutions and deal with problems pragmatically and swiftly.
• They know innately how important recreation time is, and never feel guilty about the need to relax.
• They are kind to themselves and self-care is rightly seen as supporting their well-being.
• They know what their aspirations and they are good at setting goals
• They’re unlikely to bite their nails, preferring a brisk walk to discharge their worries.
• They will seek early advice, to prevent worries from taking root in their minds.

Please feel free to copy these insights. You may already possess some of these helpful attributes, yet simply forgot that you have these qualities already in you.

The key to making any self-improvement is small, steady, and consistent steps.

For example: if you’re a nail-biter, then just try to focus on stopping that for now. It is still a positive achievement, and like any success, don’t forget to reward yourself with a treat, even if it’s a hot bath with your favourite scented bubbles.

I hope you find this helpful. Sunny wishes, Emma x