Clumsy talkers tend to interrupt conversations, talk too quickly, be intense, or be overly polite!

I know this because I’m a clumsy talker who’s in the process of trying to improve. In a work capacity, my professional communication is fluid: the person with whom I’m trying to build a rapport will have no hint of how I talk in my private life.

I am amidst trying to graft my skill in my professional capacity and implement it in my day-to-day living. It is very much a work in progress!

It takes a lot of practice because these habits are hard-wired into my subconscious. I’ve only recently realised why this is, and it has a lot to do with PTSD.

I interrupt conversations because I feel compelled to help people. I have not had help in the traditional family form, so I try to parent those I care for. I talk too quickly because my brain is searching for solutions to share with my friends. I’ll take the time to research helpful books or remedies, with little thought of applying my own advice to myself. I’ve even given complete strangers a lift in my car, and tend to feel the pain of others more so than my own.

I am intense because I know the lasting consequences of not being supported. I feel the urge to reiterate, use analogies and keep my friends close to mind, so I regularly keep a check on their welfare. And being overly polite likely has its roots in unorthodox parenting…

Now that I’m familiar with my flaws, and more crucially know of their origin, I am slowly trying to improve my personal communication skills. I am finally realising the importance of self-care, and perhaps more vitally, not viewing it as self-indulgence.

So please be patient with clumsy talkers – look out for some of the signs I have mentioned and be kind and mindful because in all likelihood, they are damaged people: trauma survivors. Whilst they have endured harrowing life experiences, they are left with a burning desire to help and shield others. They have a tendency to put the needs of other people way above their own.

And, in all probability, it has yet to dawn on these such people why they indeed have these idiosyncrasies!