Those of you who come from a dysfunctional family likely have a distorted image of self: you have had little or no praise.

Reference points, or knowledge of how conventional life-pattern run, feel like a foreign entity. You see examples of cozy families on television, yet they have little bearing on your own experiences.

So, you soldier on with much guesswork, and you continue to overlook or praise yourselves for all your achievements.

But it’s not a sustainable or healthy mindset to continue with, especially during such uncertain times. We need praise, even if it comes from ourselves because it’s the life-fuel of living, and what most children take for granted – right through to adulthood. Even as grown-up children, most of us like to share our accomplishments with our parents.

But all of yours thus far have gone unnoticed; you’ve probably not even bothered to share any of them with a single person – you are used to being a lone wolf.

Yet, and especially as we get older, we tend to reflect. We also want to try new things and yet self-doubt remains present: it is like a well of uncertainty that we’re constantly trying to dodge.

This is why keeping a tally of your achievements is so important. See doing so as building your own stepping stones: you must continue to create your own blueprint because you have less traditional support than others.

The starting point is general. List all of the aspects in which you have improved since a year ago: improved diet, improved sleep hygiene, quitting a bad habit such as smoking, and so on. Acknowledge every tiny improvement, e.g. – I used to have seven hours of sleep, now I sleep for eight. Or, I used to have no idea where my utility bills were, but now they have a dedicated household file.

Doing this will give you clarity of mind and form the foundation and desire to keep a tally on other areas of your life that you want to blossom.

When I was in sales my performance was measured weekly; I could see what I needed to make in the following weeks, and it was far easier to manage to look at each week rather than a whole month. I could plan for success and felt a greater sense of control. Adopting a systematic approach to all areas of your desired improvements really is hugely helpful.

I’d highly recommend, therefore, that you tally your progress on a weekly basis. For instance, I’m learning Italian, and each week that I learn a new phrase, I simply mark down one tally mark in my diary.

It’s also energising for you when you look back and chart your progress, and a fantastic pick-me-up on days when depression triggers self-doubt.

Good luck!