From our first day at school, and frequently through to adulthood, we compare ourselves to others.  It’s human nature, because we enjoy meeting people who are like us in personality or who have the same interests as we do.

In the playground we might be drawn to those who have the same hair toggles, pencil case, or who like the same football team as we do. We seek out like-minded people, and learning social interaction and social skills are a crucial part of our early development. We are social creatures, and feeling accepted in a group, or one to one, instils a sense of security and wellbeing in us. We have a burning desire to be liked, and when we’re young, it’s a predominant emotion.

It is so deeply hardwired in our brains that as teenagers we’ll often look like clones of one another. We’ll go to great lengths in keeping up with fashion and trends, even modifying our language, simply to fit in with our group of friends. We might even go to the extent of pretending to like something just because we’re compelled to be liked, and to not stand out from the crowd.

We forget that people like and appreciate us for the individual that we are. We recall the bonding we made over a football team, but fail to realise that it was kindness or humour which made our friend like us in the first place.

Unfortunately, we often carry this through to our adulthood, especially if we have insecurities: we might be “competing with the Jones’”. We are still being carried away with the wash, compromising our authentic selves merely to please other people.

Yet, since only we can be us – the unique individual that we are – we should embrace that, and at every level. Dare to be you, wear what you like, follow the pursuits which make your heart sing, practice saying “no”. Do this now, because you deserve to be authentically you.

Don’t reach old age feeling unfulfilled. Be brave now, it’s time to be you – for all that you believe in, and for all the aspirations you dream of.

All your true friends will be joyfully supportive and remember, life is too short and tomorrow isn’t promised!