When we try to comfort a young child, we’ll often crouch down at their eye-level and utter soft and soothing words. It is extremely effective in helping them to understand and to help them feel at peace.

Yet, and especially for those of us who endure trauma, stress or depression, we find ourselves acting in quite the opposite way when we talk to ourselves. I’m frankly often brutal with my own self-narrative and it’s due to “damaged wiring” in my head.

Factually, those of us who suffer with these mental health problems have different brain activity to those who have enjoyed nurturing childhoods. It’s only when I become consciously aware of this that I remember to override the destructive voice and swap it for a soothing one instead.

It’s a bit like having a damaged leg and a determined mind: unless we remember our injury, we’ll keep assuming that our limb is strong enough to bear weight. But we have to use our brain and limbs every day, those of us who are fortunate enough to be able to, and so managing our frazzled heads can be a daily battle.

It’s hampered further due to poor coping techniques, difficulties reaching decisions, and an absence of traditional support, to list a few. Additionally, we might have to deal with misplaced anger, grief, frustration or injustice; indeed a host of emotional woes which are unique to you.

It can feel as though we’re in a crowded space, even though we might actually be alone, mulling life over from the comfort of a sofa.

It’s so important to recognise why you are hard on yourselves and it can be helpful to trace and jot down the historic triggers for this. Once you can become familiar with your traits, you too can introduce a kinder self-narrative to help you navigate through your day.

A tip in the meantime is to whisper to yourself – even if you still choose harsh words, you will realise that they don’t match with the quiet voice, and doing so is like an auto-correction.