When we lose our temper or get angry, after the shouting, nothing is truly resolved. It can’t be, because ultimately losing our “cool” only hurts you!

You may suffer with crippling guilt, or acidic painful stomachs or headaches etc., and then you’ll need to spend time rectifying what you meant to convey. Actually, it can be both emotionally and physically exhausting. It can take such a toll on your mental wellbeing that hours, maybe days are lost, as you wrestle with the turmoil in your heads. For those of us who have endured trauma, we may be expert communicators in a professional capacity, but can be less so in our personal lives. There can also be certain triggers that provoke our patience.

I call it Constipation of the Mind: too many unresolved issues. But moreover, we lose control due to misplaced anger – we can’t talk to the true perpetrators of our woes, so we vent our feelings at whoever else we can instead. It’s a form of frustration.

This behaviour was true of me, and it’s taken a long time for me to manage my feelings more healthily. What I tend to do now is deliberately remove myself from the space; some quiet time in my bedroom, or time to contemplate in a hot bath. Or, in short, I “buy” myself some thinking time.

Additionally, invest in a notebook or use your phone to list down all the things which are making you angry. I’m not saying that this is a miracle cure, but it’s a step in a positive direction. Once you can refer to the reasons behind why you are getting angry, you can start to handle them better and put in place some coping mechanisms. You could also seek professional support, and you’ll be able to start citing trigger points and how to avoid future melt downs.