Last week I recommended for you to get to know yourselves better before setting unrealistic goals in the year ahead: Prepping, if you like.
This is because, for those of us who’ve endured trauma, it can feel as though we have a frozen brain. In my experience it can take decades to thaw – years to even start using our conscious minds instead of listening to the cruel self-narrative of our subconscious…

So how can we feel stronger as we start to see the world in fuller hues?

1: Picture your mind as a frozen layer cake which is thawing in some areas. This is similar to a person with an addiction who begins to talk about it.
2: Now that you are visualising your mind, try to recall times when you felt happier – ask where you were, who you were with, what you were wearing. The key is in remembering every detail.
3: Remember and write down your goals and dreams. I find it helpful to do this on a piece of paper which I stick on the wall of my office.
4: Jot down every good thing that has happened to you each day, however small. Example: “there was no queue at the bank today.”
5: Practice over-looking obstacles. For example, if you usually require a tidy house before you feel in the right frame of mind to start painting, override it. Think and say aloud: I’m painting for one hour and the housework can wait!
6: Do something daily that you actually want to do, and try to do it for yourself – take a bath, read, watch some TV.
7: When you next feel anxious ask yourself, “Will this matter next year?”
8: Stop being a martyr. In my opinion we damaged humans are awful at asking for help, but there is strength in doing so, not weakness.
9: Don’t waste your time and factor in relaxation time.
10: Get more sleep. Start going to bed fifteen minutes earlier, building upwards to an hour. And stop using your phone 30 mins before bed!