When I watch television commercials depicting the perfect happy family meal, they have the opposite effect. They make me feel sad!

I’m sure I’m not the only one who thinks that such cosy lighting, a glowing fireplace, and the fact that every member of the family is present is real… It just feels false!

I have few scarce memories of my entire family being present at dinner. They were rare, fond encounters. We were acting a lot of the time, too. Some of us thought we should be paid to be there! It’s unrealistic to picture the perfect family meal as an occasion where everyone is present and happy. It just doesn’t always work like that!

And there is too much hurt in these memories and they can reduce us to tears – I try not to recall them. If I do, I’ll consciously try to distract my thoughts and allow my mind to wander. I’ve got quite good at this. There is room for improvement, so I practice lots…

I’m collecting new thoughts to ponder on. My collection is growing and it’s an assortment of odd things. It’s my special distraction technique – here’s a few of my random ones:

• Think of fun times enjoyed with friends
• Think of five things that I’m lucky to have, such as a warm bed to sleep in
• Imagine what my dad would say to me in the situation
• Sit in my garden and admire nature
• Kiss my puppy

A teacher once told me that being in a state of happy, all of the time, is unrealistic. She said that contentment is easier to reach. Especially if you are raw with pain. Going to a theme park might make you happy. But you can’t visit one every day.

It’s valuable to learn to be content: imagine contentment and happiness as puddings: contentment is the cake, and happiness is the bonus chocolate sprinkles.

Contentment is all the little things that help you to get through the day. Try to look out for the things that glow your tummy, even though they may only last moments.

It’s surprising how noticing these little things can lift your mood. Your head can be consciously guided by you to switch your train of thoughts. You may have to do this many times throughout the day. Pain clutches you tightly. But even when your mood takes a nose dive and you forget to “think contentment”, don’t beat yourself up… Actually, be pleased with yourself that you’ve noticed – it’s a step forward. Gradually, you’ll be able to notice things that give you contentment versus things which make you happy. Try to make a conscious effort to help yourself do the little things that can bring you a smile, and remember – the goal isn’t to be 100% happy, 100% of the time. It’s to try and help yourself to be a little more content.