Kindness – what’s in it for me?

We all know about the simple act of kindness. We skim through dozens of examples online. But what’s in it for you?

Sure, you feel good about your gesture. You might feel humble for the rest of the day, even longer, perhaps. You might even mention your act of kindness to your friends.

Many of us are very good at being kind to others. But how kind are you to yourself? What happens next time it’s just you, alone with your thoughts and problems that you are on the cusp of trying to resolve? Alone trying to tame the anger you have about the issues you can’t change or do anything about?

Perhaps you wrestle with the pillow, or swipe a finger across your phone trying to find some useful nuggets of wisdom. But your frustrations get the better of you and you start cursing to yourself. You are calling yourself some rotten names and they can’t all be worthy.

But just think about the way you speak to yourself, the names you call yourself, the opinions you have about yourself. Are they kind? Would you say them to someone else? Chances are, the answer is no.

I’m not saying that you can magically feel better about yourselves overnight – it’s a constant case of trying to remember to be kind to yourself. It’s one of my own battles. But thinking about the language you use about yourself can improve how you feel about yourself. I try simple things, like calling myself “darling!”  I know you’ll find this amusing, and yes, I try to only do so if I think nobody can hear me. But just switching the language we use about ourselves for something kinder is, in my experience, a useful helping hand towards a life where I’m gradually learning to feel better about things in general. And better about myself.