TW

 

As children many of you may have enjoyed the fairground. Bumper cars were cool, the lights hypnotic, the music loud and snacks sickly sweet. Now hone into the bumper car experience, through adult eyes; you probably like it less in your recollection. You will remember that some of the kids were only interested in bumping into your car, and it jarred your body.

This is what arguing feels like in our bodies, we feel the impact of discontentment viscerally; and in the absence of a calm mind, nothing gets resolved. If we have endured parental arguing, growing up, then we are susceptible to falling into default angry mode. We kind of trip clumsily into the puddle of it, like the flimsy sides of a cheap paddling pool: water or poorly managed emotions, no fault of your own, overspill.

Whilst asserting how you truly feel is positive, we are reminded that even for well – nurtured adults; over sixty percent of we humans can sometimes find it hard to correctly identify our emotions. When emotions run high, these feelings get accentuated.

Some tactics to help you avoid arguing include: breathing and pausing, before you speak / walking away / allowing one another space to listen, talk, respond / allocating each party with equal time to speak. / Getting outside and going for a head-clearing walk in our wonderful planet earth.

Equally, we must be mindful of the importance of acknowledging one another’s feelings. This is especially important for those of us that did not have a healthy upbringing.

Very often, because we may have felt unheard, all we need, is simply to have our feelings, or problems validated. Doing so for the reciprocate, is akin to cleaning a foggy mind window…

All of us will argue, we are human! Whether we have physical impairments,’ that can cause frustrations, or not; living the busy lives, we all have, can be a conducive hotbed for wayward emotions.

When we practice kindness, and self-kindness, we spread a higher understanding for one another.

Never judge a book by its cover. I have many friends who are strong, as I consider myself to be. Yet behind the societal grace and conduct, we are all dealing with grievances’ that can spike our ire.

When we are honest and truthful about how we are really feeling; we can express ourselves clearly, and without arguing or judgment. We start to go some way towards neutralizing or bypassing the habit of arguing.

 

I hope you find this helpful.

With SUNNY wishes,

Emma x