We know that our inner critical voice isn’t usually constructive, in fact it can be a bit of a bully and it seldom tells us the truth about ourselves. Much of it is out- of- date, needs refreshing. We can learn to harness it, grab, and study the underbelly of its many different facets. One of those many roots – linked to our unique experiences, and personalities, is our personal belief of Number One…

My friend and I, were laughing about our old maths lessons recently. We used to sit together- lost in chatter, – music, businesses sometimes – both our wonderful late dads were self-made EastEnders.

Simply goggling at the algebra formulas on the chalk board made us dizzy. So, we stayed in our bubble and the teachers assumed us to be dense. We were in the bottom group. Yet, the other day, we expressed our mutual love of maths now. In fact, we declared that we love it!

This is because the numbers that we’re drawn to: ignite and nudge something visceral in our psyches. Money related figures that tug at nostalgia, and polish an old sparkle. Our father’s had unorthodox educations, they rose through sheer hard work, and poverty. They had to do menial jobs, make every penny themselves…and they were super sharp about money. This is how they taught us maths, – when we both came to work for our fathers.’

Whether we have made money – or lost it; however, many times we’ve slipped downwards again- like the game of snakes and ladders: we must regularly refresh our personal belief of ourselves.  Not less so, to remember how it interweaves around your unique experiences, the hues of your personalities. We pan and retrieve soul gold, when we focus on our truth and origin: the mind dust that needs refreshing.

I am midst practicing what I preach. During covid my disability became further annoying, and I lost all my clients. I am trying to find an agent, have more to manage and need to make money. I know my story will help with others. I am introspective and share my healing journey…

I think of my daddy, found abandoned as a baby. All the good he did, his incredible accolades.  His humour love and mischief. I think how I want to help a wider community. In the future to set up a charity, in the name of my beloved late brother, to help other survivors… Within that warm tingly sensation is my self-belief, twinkling again vibrantly. I’ve been aware that it has been dented, recently and I got it out and refreshed it.

I hope you find this helpful.

SUNNY wishes,

Emma x