The people we tend to like listening to have fun and melodic voices. If we deem them sincere, then subconsciously, fairly, or unfairly, we will give them more of our attention.

In my twenties, I was an accomplished sales person. I was lucky to receive my first training from my wonderful late dad. Although he was a foundling baby; he grew his business to become the biggest of its kind in Europe. You can guess, dad was a hardworking, people person, and as a Cockney boy, he was found in the East end: his training was unorthodox. He was simply pleasant to people, and listened well. He always sounded the same, happy, and fun!

Following working for him, I got headhunted several times. I got cracking sales for the varied companies I worked for, and over the years been on many sales courses.

Yet, despite all the subsequent training I had, the trends for working to script, gimmicks, and ploys, that I never adhered to; nothing beats simply being kind and genuine. The prospect either wants the product/ service- or not, and customer care is paramount. And building relationships takes time and effort.

Whilst I evolved into public relations and marketing, before my disability worsened, and now I mostly write; I am still conscious about the way I sound to others.

Irrespective of how we’re feeling, we all need to engage with others. Equally we need self -engagement.

How we sound forms part of our wellness kit. It is as important as what we chose to wear and the other choices, so we feel like our best versions of ourselves every day. Or more consistently, and frequently.

Also, how you sound to somebody, how you think you sound, and how you really sound- works best when it is in synchronicity. But very often it varies, so it isn’t A common example is our telephone voice. But this will usually sound insincere, and could evoke barriers or resistance in your communications. I have tried it and it doesn’t work.  These days especially, we all need maximum fluidity, honesty, respect, and warmth.

Try practicing the common things you say in front of the mirror. Or revisit conversations and though they are spent, bravely critique how you truly sounded. If you were or are at a low ebb, then of course this may alter the nuances in your voice. These can still sometimes be apparent in my voice, if I forget to be present while talking. Or, I forget to express how I am truly feeling.

The key is not to bother hiding how you feel, we all simply like honesty and sincerity. Often our lesser niggles simply need validating with someone close to you.  So, even if you are not feeling chirpy, then it is best to reveal so during your conversation. “Bear with me, I have a lot going on at the moment.” Now the person you are talking with hears your human heart. They will know the reason why you might sound different. They will want to help you start a light to start with catch-up. I think a gentle way is simply to announce: “Bear with me…” then a little pause.  It is a light way in, and the person listening to you- will automatically give you space. In that space they will realise you want to talk; so, they will be getting their soul duvet out for you, with ear cuddles and warmth…

Remember, we live in a world that can feel artificial, yet we humans have the magical gift of speech and communication.

It is healing, constructive and soul-nourishing to keep true and authentic and one of the most helpful aspects of being real is to give attention to how we sound.

I hope you find this useful.

SUNNY wishes,

Emma x