Our restricted lifestyles during the past couple of years have played havoc with our sense of wellbeing. Our equilibria may have lost fluidity, affecting our physiology and draining our sense of identity.

At times, my head has felt like the sediment in the bottom of a bucket…

But, I counter this by remembering the importance of breathing, mindfulness, meditation, and gratitude.

I feel replenished when I call to mind the people I’m grateful to have in my life. I feel awake after my breathing exercises and I feel inner peace through meditation. It’s within this mind space that an ember of authentic and determined self shines through…

I remember being written off by the medical team; my parents were informed that I’d “never be able to walk, or talk”.

I learned both aged three.

But for over fifty years I have spent a large chunk of that time being in denial about even having a disability; I have barely used my right hand, as this is my weaker side. I’ve been so accustomed to relying on my left hand that I’d entirely overlooked that I’m lucky enough to even have two hands!

On a recent spa treat, when my daughter was trying to teach me to swim, I looked down in horror at my bent-up arm. I had no idea that it didn’t match the other and I felt ashamed that I’d not exercised it because most people with cerebral palsy aren’t able to even walk.

Later that evening, through meditation, I imagined I was the three-year-old determined version of myself. I was extremely lucky that I could remember many of my physiotherapy treatments and the dialogue between the professionals and my parents – or at least the look on the therapist’s face when I took my first steps!

Since doing this, although my gait is stiff, I’ve been practicing every day throwing a ball using my right hand. It might not work with the same ease as my other hand, but it works far better than I ever imagined it could.

I feel connected to a stronger version of myself!

I would highly recommend that you cast your mind back to an age when you felt determined. Try to recall as much detail as possible: where you were, who were you with, what were you wearing, etc.

The debris of life can smother our authentic selves – it’s as though we’re hidden under a pile of leaves.

But casting our minds back to when we felt determined, happier or content is extremely helpful because we can siphon off the energy we once felt, and incorporate it into our today time!