Survivors of any form of abuse frequently endure poor internal narratives. The inner voice seldom has the capacity to revert to mute mode; at the very best, we can turn the volume down.

On good days when we can hush the critical voice or ignore it entirely, perhaps when we’re enjoying giggles with our friends, it is less likely to taint our day; as opposed to our more challenging days, when the unseen criticism feels as though it’s screaming at us:

“I don’t know who you think you are”…”I told you you’d never amount to anything”…“I don’t know why you’re bothering, you were never any good at your school work!”

It’s as though the perpetrator is actually with us, clamped onto our limbs, nails digging into our skin. Like limpets they are almost impossible to pull off!

But wait a moment, aren’t you a unique human being? Aren’t you the one who’s compassionate, and likes to be kind to others?

Well, yes, of course. It’s because you prefer to support people and try to understand them, because such caring has never been bestowed upon you. You know what it feels like to be abused, insulted and worn down. You wish for the people whom you connect with to feel good about themselves.

So when you are trying to pursue an activity, be it for pleasure or to advance your career, remember that the rubbish in your head is not even your words. They are the indelible echo of your abuser. Their screeds are borne of control, jealously…you have moved on, you have survived their torment. You are stronger than them. You have truth, integrity and sincerity.

The internal critical voice never belonged to you, the wording is obsolete and untrue.

I hope this serves you with a green light. Enjoy living your life, dare to look into your dreams and aspirations. Give yourselves permission to be happy. Your poor internal narrative doesn’t originate from you at all.

You may not be able to entirely mute it, but you can outwit it: and hopefully this post has reminded you why it’s within you in the first place!