Those of us who suffer with poor mental health frequently have poor coping techniques. This is often due to not being shown how to tackle problems: we’ve been raised in a dysfunctional manner. We have a fractured self-image, and find it hard to be kind about ourselves.
Similarly, those of us who endure PTSD have impaired thinking, because our predominant inner voice plays a re-loop of historic damaging narrative which frequently includes flashbacks. We have to function whilst the obnoxious echo screeds at us.
We might be older people now – young adults, or grey and aging – but unless we’re conscious about our poor coping techniques, we will keep reverting to them, simply because we don’t have healthier alternatives. Or the bad habits are familiar, and easier to access.
The spectrum of these are complex and huge. They include: anxiety attacks, poor decision making, loss of temper, relying on alcohol, substance abuse, gnawing at skin, self-harming, undereating or overeating – to name just a few.
In many ways, we revert to these coping techniques by way of gaining some control over our lives, or with the hope that they will bring sensation to our damaged senses: we either want to feel, or numb away, the pain.
Once we acknowledge that we have poor coping techniques, we bring them into our conscious mind. We can accommodate them in a similar way that we might adapt our communication with a deaf friend. We can seek professional help or confide in a friend.
We can also help ourselves, once we’ve recognised which poor coping techniques trap us.
For instance, in my private life, I’m dreadful at making decisions and still cope with dreadful anxiety. But at least I’m aware of my setback. Nowadays, I force my brain to slow down and I say aloud to myself: “Emma darling, you don’t have to rush this decision. Sleep on it and look at it with fresh eyes in the morning.”
By saying this command aloud to myself, and repeating my spoken voice, I am overriding the historic unkind narrative. I am facing the serpent and beginning to harness it.