There are many reasons why you suffer with a poor self-narrative. It could be that you are an abuse survivor, and your perpetrators voice sticks, like glue, in your head. The echo of that ugly voice never really goes away. You may be in the depths of depression, and your self-worth seems as though it’s melted away. Likewise, if you endure anxiety or any other mental illness, then what you say to yourselves will be distorted and largely untrue.

Whilst I cannot entirely prevent your poor self-narrative, I can help you to manage it better. This is because that cruel language you inflict upon yourselves didn’t actually originate from your brains. If you were told, for example, that you were worthless – that it is somebody else’s inaccurate judgement or opinion of you.

To reiterate, it cannot be conveniently turned off, but with practice you’ll be able to turn down the volume.

I am hampered by my own poor self-narrative on a daily, often hourly, basis. However, I try to override this by calling myself “darling”! So, for instance, when I go to the bathroom, I might say something aloud to myself like: “Come on darling, you’ve got this”. Or “Darling, take a tea break, and then you’ll feel refreshed”.

I’m not ashamed to tell you that I apply this, my own technique, continuously throughout the day and night. The key is saying a positive affirmation, aloud. When you do so, then somehow in that moment, you’ll pay attention to yourselves!

There are many positive things that you can say aloud to yourselves, but considering a damaged mind, they could feel like a chore to do – trite, or simply too complicated to do regularly. This is why I believe in simplification, and why I call myself “darling”!

So think about just one or two words of endearment – try to choose words that you’d use ordinarily on someone else – and start using them as regularly as you need to on yourself instead.

Doing so frequently will help you enormously, and in spite of what you have suffered, always remember that you deserve to live a full and enriched, happy life!