When we’re lost in pain, sadness, or depression, it’s really hard to distinguish our emotions. We often feel simply numb.

For me, it’s as though I have a form of pins and needles that are all-consuming, and given the choice, there are many days when I’d simply like to stay in bed.

However, like most of us, I have bills to pay, people to see and obligations to meet. Yet if I don’t keep a check of how I’m feeling, it’s as though I’m floating through the day on autopilot.

Over the years I’ve mastered my “cruise mode” exceptionally well. If it were a qualification then I’d probably be a straight A student. I have the ability to function – to get on with the day’s commitments – without a single person realising that my entire being is crying silent tears. I’m sure that I’m not alone.

But, not being fully aware of what we are doing whilst on autopilot can be harmful to our mental health.

Some time ago I started applying a running commentary to my day to day life in an attempt to avoid my “cruise mode”. My fragile and mean inner voice began narrating the events of my day.

It used to go something like: “Come on you idiot, get out of bed or you’ll miss the bus!” Or, “I know you can’t be bothered to get off this sofa, but you’re a mum now – so stop slacking!”
I realised that some of the things I said to myself were a little mean, however, I knew that the essence of my running commentary was, weirdly, helpful…

Saying the things to yourself that you need to get done, especially aloud, can help reduce feelings of numbness. It’s as though the sound of your own words wakes you up and jolts your energy levels up a little. This is handy because pain and depression is, tiring all-encompassing armour that many of us have to endure wearing, and talking to ourselves can help break through that a little.

I’ve also found that expressing my feelings out loud can be useful, too. For example, I might say something like: “I know you’re feeling sad, Emma, but you ought to eat something. Perhaps go and get a tempting treat, and then cheer yourself up by talking to Jodie”.

In other words, you are acknowledging your pain (as opposed to internally stoking it), whilst also topping up your energy levels to enable yourself to get through the next task.
Try doing this at your own pace – although I reckon it takes loads of practice…