Abuse and trauma survivors tend to overthink, and even though we feel numb, it’s because the cogs in our heads are set on overdrive. There is still much debris of historic trauma that we’re trying to process and make sense of. We have a human desire to sort things out tidily and orderly, in much the same way as we might approach a cluttered space in our homes.

But, of course, we forget that there has been no reasoning or consideration from our abusers, and rarely is there even apology, recognition or remorse.

So, we’re left stuck, grinding metal on metal like a broken piece of machinery, because we’re continually bombarded by flashbacks and daily reminders which keep us overthinking. We’re trying to solve things that largely can’t be fixed.

To the outside world, we appear competent, functional, and good at our jobs or studies. It is a front, and a mask we’ve worn for years.

But, if anyone was privy to seeing the mechanics of our brains, they’d witness steam and turmoil, worn down grooves – because rarely is there resolution. We have to endeavour to appear “normal” because we have the same responsibilities as everyone else: bills to pay, a job or studies to do, etc.

We will always overthink, and clear thinking is a gift not bestowed on us.

When we do enjoy the rare gift of clear thinking, it’s usually in our professional or working lives. Actually, when I’m working it brings an enormous sense of peace. It is like pacifying a baby with a soother. But as soon as I have downtime, the noisy machinery of overthinking seems to go into overdrive.

Whilst this state of mind will realistically never leave me, there are some things that I do which can at least turn the volume down. I’m a huge advocate of meditation, and I’ll be sharing my techniques with you in future posts. In the meantime, if you endure overthinking, it’s beneficial to check out some forms of meditation online. I’d advise the same with regards to learning how to breathe correctly. Other things which quieten the beast for me include listening to classical music and getting outside as much as possible.

Meanwhile, at least draw comfort from knowing that many of us overthink, and that scientifically our brains have been interrupted. I am not an academic but do know that the “wiring” of a trauma survivor’s brain is different to that of someone who has not endured trauma. You have had an impairment thrust upon you by a third party, and it is not your fault.

Be kind and gentle to yourselves, and try to implement some of these things to help you.